How Does Pride Effect Our Relationship With Others

                                                       Dr. David Coombs, Ed.D, MFT

     Why is it is easy for us to detect pride in others but fail to see it in ourselves? Possibly it is because it is difficult for us to look inward and evaluate ourselves. President Ezra Taft Benson delivered his classic discourse on pride in general conference April, 1989.  He explained that many are sinning in ignorance. But to be enlightened, we have only to ask ourselves a number of questions posed by President Benson, and the answers can be quite revealing. For example:

1. Are there people who we hate, disdain, and simply cannot tolerate?
2. Are we conceited and think ourselves as better than others?
3. Are we arrogant, self-serving, and critical of others?
4. Are we offended easily and do we hold grudges?
5. Are we critical and judgmental?
6. Do we chaff when people in authority tell us what to do?
7. Do we resent counsel and advice from others?
8. Are we envious of those with wealth, beauty, and\or fame?
9. Are we content with being who we are and in our place in life?
10. Are we argumentative and contentious?
11. If we see others succeeding, do we then see ourselves as failures?
12. De we rationalize our faults and failures?

     President Benson stated that “God will have a humble people.” We can either choose to be humble, or we can have experiences that will compel us to be humble. We can choose to be humble by doing the following:

1. Accept counsel from the Lord, the prophets, and priesthood leaders.
2. Forgive quickly.
3. Be happy for others’ good fortune.
4. Be quick to help others.
5. Serve in the temple more frequently
6. Confess and forsake our sins speedily.
7. Submit our wills to God’s will and to His perfect timing.
8. Yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit.
9. Agree quickly with others with empathy; show that you understand others’ points of view while they may not necessarily conform to yours.
10. Turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, or in other words, allow yourself to be inconvenienced without resentment.
11. Avoid unnecessary debt and live within your means.
12. Freely pay tithes and offerings.
13. Serve others without expecting rewards in return.
14. Serve faithfully in church callings and  seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
15. Continue to grow in charity, the pure love of Christ. 

     President Benson emphasized that those who are striving to have successful marriages, happy homes, those who are grateful people, kind employers, hard working employees, friendly neighbors are those who are humble followers of Christ seeking to establish Zion.