Learning to be professional problem solvers

David and Marva Coombs

At times, life seems to be like a soap opera as people are thrust into solving one problem after another. Yet life would be dull without problems to challenge us. In fact, many learn to welcome problems and even to enjoy facing them, solving them, overcoming them and finding solutions to them. As people mature, they find they get better at solving problems, and continue to do so by using the following skills.

First, they choose to have a positive attitude. They have confidence they can do what needs to be done. They hate putting things off. They like confronting life as it comes and doing what needs to be done when it needs doing. Many successful professionals make “to do” lists every morning. Those items that are finished first are often the most uncomfortable, least enjoyable duties. It feels good to get them done and out of the way.

Second, they understand that they don’t have to solve all problems alone. It is wise to talk things over with others to clarify thinking and get valuable feedback. It is good to have spouses, friends, co-workers who are good listeners--who may not necessarily give advice, but do provide safety to explore feelings and ideas. Sometimes that’s all people need to find the right course of action. 

Another technique that people use that clarifies their thinking is to journalize their feelings. Seeing thoughts in black and white allows them to stand back and be objective and gives opportunity to see more options. Listing the pros and cons helps them to make good choices. 

Third, they know the value of saying “no” when too many demands are placed upon them, and they simply can’t do it all. They know that they could easily get overloaded if they said “yes” to everything. 

A dear friend telephoned Michelle to ask a favor at a time when Michelle was already feeling the pressures of a full schedule. While Michelle liked to help and to please others, she wisely said, “Thank you for thinking of me. I would love to do it, but at the present time I cannot. I hope you will ask me again because you know I would love to help if I could.” 

Of course, emergencies occasionally require people to set aside everything else and focus on immediate, extraordinary needs.  Then they simply put everything else on hold with confidence they can deal with it later.

Fourth, they know the three “D’s” of problem solving: dump, delegate and do. When over-whelmed, they dump things off their “to do” list, things that would be nice to have done but can wait. If something has to be done but not necessarily by them, they delegate it by referring it to others or possibly hiring it out. That which is left over is that which they have to do. They don’t procrastinate, they just get the jobs done.

Fifth, they know their limitations. If they have a medical problem, they see a doctor; a legal issue, they see an attorney; a plumbing problem, they call a plumber; a psychological or marital problem, they see a professional counselor. They know when they are not qualified to solve a problem, so they call in the experts.

Sixth, they realize that they are not always successful in solving every problem. They have learned to deal with disappointment. They are flexible and can handle defeat when things don’t go their way.  After all, they have learned that they often learn more from their failures than from their successes. The mistake is not in falling but in not getting up and trying again.

Seventh, they realize their dependence upon the Lord. He says, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:5). They readily call upon God who freely gives to those who are doing their best even when their best seems insufficient. With the grace of God, they can accomplish much.

Finally, they know the power of self-talk. They could say “I can’t handle this. It is too much.” But instead they wisely say, “I can handle this and I will because, with the Lord by my side, I am indeed a professional problem solver.”

Dr. Coombs is in private practice as a professional marriage, family and individual counselor. Call 435-705-3579 or email to dmcoombs@gmail.com or visit drcoombsmarriageand,family.blogspot.com.