Developing an attitude of gratitude

       In a previous article, we discussed how appropriate it is that we begin the holiday season with Thanksgiving.  Someone said that gratitude is the gateway to heaven and is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others. We all work harder when people express their love and appreciation to us for our efforts. It feels good to see others’ eyes sparkle when we express our appreciation to them?

Every marriage is blessed when spouses declare their gratitude for each other. Every family member shines as parents freely express gratitude to their children and as children express appreciation to their parents. Homes where this is done seem all ablaze with love.

In their anecdotes, those who have died and been resuscitated impressively speak of the intense love they felt while they briefly visited the spirit world. Upon returning to mortality, they emphasize their love for family and friends. They are more affectionate, tender and grateful individuals, and sometimes manifest complete character reversals. We can learn from their experiences and examples by giving up our petty hurts and grudges and by counting our blessings.

 Gratitude, a divine gift, can be cultivated by expressing thanks in all things and at all times. While we cannot expect to be happy all the time, it is possible to be happy most of the time as we maintain hearts full of appreciation. Giving thanks can dispel gloom and despair.  It is difficult to be depressed and be full of thanksgiving at the same time. Gratitude is synonymous with rejoicing in the Lord for all that we have.  It cultivates a spirit of abundance even when we are economically poor. Posting Psalms 118:24 somewhere in our homes can provide us with this daily reminder: “This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

The Savior healed ten men of dreaded leprosy, and the story teaches us the importance of gratitude. (Luke 17:11-19). What a life-changing experience this must have been for those men! As lepers they were outcasts of society, suffering from a disease for which there was no cure and cut off from family and friends. Think what it must have been like to be isolated from everyone, never feeling the warmth of a hug or a tender touch from loved ones, and having to warn people to maintain their distance by crying, “Unclean, Unclean!” That was all changed in an instant.

Of course, those healed went away rejoicing. Yet of the ten who were so miraculously healed, only one returned to give thanks and “to give glory to God.” The Savior, who must have felt hurt and disappointed, asked a penetrating question, “Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine” (Luke 17:19).

How often has God performed miracles in our lives that we have barely noticed? We don’t want to lack gratitude like the nine who failed to give thanks for being healed. What spectacular moments or quiet miracles can we acknowledge this Thanksgiving season and every day? 

God has promised us the abundant life as we give thanks for the gift of His son. We praise Him for His love. When we pray, we first give thanks for our blessings before seeking His  help with those issues troubling us. As often as our petitions are granted, may we rush to give thanks to God and to acknowledge His hand in all things. It is amazing how an attitude of gratitude can lead us into a life of near perpetual joy.

Why do we often feel insignificant?

         When we look at the vast number of of stars in the sky and read scientific reports that numberless galaxies and solar systems exist capable of sustaining earths like our own, we wonder and question what our place is among God’s creations. The Apostle Paul stated that God, by His son, “made the worlds” (Hebrews 1:2). It is easy to feel insignificant because we mortals have difficulty wrapping our minds around the idea that, with so many earths and with so many people, our Heavenly Father could have time to care for and to love each one of us. 

On a smaller scale, as people take their turns on this earth, many find themselves battling feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem. It begins with criticism at home. Then people work their way through elementary, high school, and post high-school education constantly being evaluated by one test or another. Because tests favor the proficient and are based on comparisons, most students are reminded over and over again that they are not good enough.

In the critical years of youth and young adulthood, most feel they are lacking. They are not good looking enough, don’t wear the right clothes, don’t come from the right homes, don’t have a nice car or any car at all, don’t have positions of leadership, don’t run with the popular crowd, are not athletic and do not achieve academically. Horrors if any have a weight problem, learning disability or are cursed with acne.

To feel valued and significant, many look for ways they can be recognized by others. They want to feel successful at something, to be number one at anything and to receive visible rewards to validate their worth. Some listen to motivational speeches that inspire them to work harder, to achieve more, to always be the best and to distinguish themselves above all others. To reach the top, they think they have to be talented, beautiful, rich, powerful and famous. Some are willing to sacrifice marriage, children, friends and their integrity in order to achieve worldly goals.

But stop! Wait! Think! The trouble with this pursuit of excellence is that too often people are striving to selfishly satisfy their egos. They are obsessed with seeking the approval of others, forgetting that others are not their final judges. These obsessions undermine their relationship with God--who, they may think, obviously is busy somewhere else, maybe in another galaxy. They ask, “How can He care about me?”

To overcome feeling insignificant, people need to better understand their relationship with their Heavenly Father. We are children of a loving God and we are important to Him. God has the unlimited capacity to care, know, understand and love all of His children, regardless of how many children He has. We are happiest and know our worth best when we are doing what He would have us do. He has given us commandments that clearly mark the way to happiness in this life and the next. Those who are obedient are favored.

Our ultimate choices in life are not between being rich or poor or between being high or low achievements or between fame or obscurity. Our important choices are simply between right and wrong.

Every soul is valued and important. All are capable of being exalted regardless of any learning disabilities or mortal defects or handicaps. All, especially those who feel inferior and suffer with low esteem, are invited to come unto Jesus and be perfected in Him. No one is more likely to succeed spiritually if they are wealthy, lovely, educated or have prominent positions in this life than if they are poor, plain, uneducated and unsung.

Earl Nightingale, a famous motivational speaker in the 1950s, gave the definition of success as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” When Christ gave the command to be perfect (Matthew 5:48), He invited us all to get on the path of righteousness that eventually leads His followers to become like Him. Is there any more worthy ideal?

So, do people have to be super smart, be high achievers, be highly visible or be wildly successful at something to get God’s attention? No, the blessings of heaven are for all those who are meek and lowly in heart. In paradise, there is no spirit of competition or thinking of one person as better than another. Every soul is precious. All are significant and highly esteemed by the Lord.

Dr. Coombs is a professional marriage, family and individual counselor. Call 435-272-4292 or email to dmcoombs@gmail.com or visit drcoombsmarriageandfamily.blogspot.com  

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David and Marva Coombs
dmcoombs@gmail.com

1296 West Red Butte

Washington City, UT 84780

435 272-4292
435 705-3579