Having faith when God doesn’t make sense

At times, our faith is tried and tested to see if we will still believe in a loving God even when, to us, He doesn’t make sense. Isaiah reminds us that God thinks differently than we do: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

We have been witnesses to senseless tragedies: mentally disturbed gunmen shooting innocent people in movie theaters, churches and schools; airliners piloted by terrorists crash into public buildings; children abused and murdered; loved ones suffered painful illnesses for long periods of time.

Some ask the big question: “How can a loving God allow such things to happen?” This question supposes that, if Heavenly Father were truly loving, He would not allow any of us or our loved ones to be hurt, injured, or die. 

However, we know earth life is not meant to be free from all sorrows. We learn more from our difficulties and our challenges than from our excitements and pleasure. Disappointment can lead to determination; failure can lead to success; rejection can pave the path to greater adventures. Set backs can be stepping stones to growth. It is through overcoming challenges that people learn faith

The Book of Daniel, tells of three faithful followers of God who were threatened with death if they did not deny their faith. King Nebuchadnessar of Babylon gave Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego the choice to either bow down to a golden image or be cast into a fiery furnace. They said with confidence that they were sure God would deliver them but then, remarkably added, “But if not, be it known unto thee, O King, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image” (Daniel 3:18).

Faith-centered families today have the same confidence that God can bless them with answers to their prayers, “but if not,” their faith in God is not shattered. They know not all prayers are granted; there are times when the answer is “no” or “not yet.”

Bad things happen to good people, yet because of their faith, they are not angry with God; they realize He has the big picture in mind and knows what is best for them better than they know. They know God can heal, “but if not”--. They know God can protect them and their loved ones from harm, evil, and accident, “but if not”--. God can return their loved ones, who have spiritually strayed, back to the fold,” but if not”--. God can control election outcomes to their liking, “but if not”--. God can bless them with wealth, ”but if not”--. 

People can pray for the ideal spouse and beautiful children, “but if not”--. They can pray that loved ones will be delivered from their addictions, ”But if not”--. They can pray for rain and the end of the drought, ”But if not”--. Regardless of how prayers are answered, the faithful remain committed to keeping the commandments of God. They resonate with Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.”

The lyrics of a gospel song gives comfort: “When God says no to you,/  It’s such a blow to you,/ When all your hopes and dreams/ Unravel at the seams./ It’s hard to rest within His will,/ It’s hard to trust and just be still,/ It’s hard to simply wait until/ It’s all made plain./ He who holds us in his hands,/ Has no problems only plans./ He who has control of all,/ Sees the smallest sparrow fall./ He who acts where no one knows,/ Does not sleep as we suppose,/ But works in all things,/ In great or small things,/ For His own glory/ And our best good” (Haven of Rest Quartet Ministries. “Sail On”).

We could pray to live in Camelot and know that if God wanted it for us, He would grant it. “But if not,” we will remain firm, steadfast and immoveable in our devotion to the one and only true God who sometimes, in our limited view, doesn’t make sense.

Dr. Coombs is a professional marriage, family, and individual counselor.  Call 435-272-4292 or send an email to dmcoombs@gmail.com. 

Pornography destroys individuals, marriages, and families

Pornography destroys individuals, marriages, and families

David and Marva Coombs

The addiction to pornography is one of the most pernicious evils of our day, and it is the most difficult addiction to break. Alcohol, nicotine and the myriad of mind-altering drugs are all powerfully addictive, but in time, these poisons can be eliminated from the body. Pornography is stored in the brain and is available for instant recall.

The addiction to pornography starts with curiosity reinforced by the great lie that it only effects viewers and no one else. Most young boys, teenagers, and men have been exposed to this filth. Many of their female counterparts have also been caught in its trap.  

A married man’s addiction to pornography is similar to adultery; he is fantasizing sexual relations and “hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matt 5:28) via magazines, television, movies, or computers. This evil cripples men’s abilities to be good husbands and fathers. They experience difficulty having healthy relationships with the females in their lives. When pornography is brought into the home, it is often discovered by children, and the poison spreads to the next generation. 

Understandably, wives of husbands addicted to pornography feel betrayed. They feel they are being negatively compared to other women; they are repulsed by it and lose respect for their husbands. Wives distance themselves and pull away from their husbands physically, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. People’s addictions to pornography have caused many divorces. Those caught in this terrible snare must do everything in their power to escape it without delay. Escape cannot be delayed as the captivity of pornography will only get stronger. The Twelve-Step Program used in Alcoholics Anonymous is as effective in overcoming addictions to pornography as it is for overcoming alcohol or any other addiction, particularly when reference to a Higher Power is replaced with people’s calling on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The twelve-step program for wives also helps them to better understand their husbands and to have the strength to aid their husbands through recovery.

In addition to joining support groups, victims of this addiction can feast upon the words of Christ and call upon Heavenly Father in fervent prayer for His aid. Jesus is mighty to save. Finally and importantly, those caught in this addiction and their families must not give up hope. Many have overcome this horrid addiction and have done so with their marriages intact and even stronger and better than ever before.

 

Dr. David Coombs is a professional marriage, family and individual counselor.  Call 435-272-4292 or email to dmcoombs@gmail.com.